Mustard Cup

Happy National Donut Day, you fat pieces of shit.

- Mayor Bloomberg

5 Signs Humans Are Still Evolving

adulthoodisokay:

mentalflossr:

Sign #1: We’re losing our wisdom teeth.

when i was 12 i had my 6 wisdom teeth removed. i repeat, my 6 wisdom teeth.

At my last dentist visit, the nurse asked me when I had my wisdom teeth removed. I told her I had never gotten them removed. She looked at my x-rays and asked if I was sure. I said “I think I’d remember that.”

Turns out I just never got wisdom teeth. Lucky me?

I had 6 wisdom teeth removed when I was 17. I would consider that strange except for the fact that my sister was born with 3 sets of teeth, equating to 16 teeth pulled.

Ever since then I’ve had the suspicion that someone on my mother’s side of the family mated with either an alligator or a shark.

Reblogged 2 days ago from heyveronica

307 notes

teeth suck,

laughingsquid:

New York City Plans a Ban on Large Sugared Drinks

That’s right Fat People, you just can’t be trusted anymore. We have no faith in your ability to exert self control. Why can’t you lead a healthier lifestyle? Do what I do, only drink soda when alcohol is included.

Reblogged 2 days ago from huffingtonpost

290 notes

No fatties 2K12,

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

- George Carlin (via classicgeorgecarlin)

Reblogged 5 days ago from standupportal

155 notes

george carlin, Carlin will forever be the fucking man, quotes,

Reblogged 1 week ago from tehteabaggler

361 notes

Carlin will forever be the fucking man, george carlin,

did-you-kno:

Source 1,2

No Shit!

Reblogged 2 weeks ago from did-you-kno

21,126 notes

dont drink and tumble,

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

- Bill Hicks (via billhicks)

(Source: standupportal)

Reblogged 2 weeks ago from billhicks

134 notes

Bill Hicks, quotes,

hamletcan:

dontcookbilly:

suburbantragic:

nervousrex:

RIP couch. You were actually my home for a little bit (Taken with instagram)

I lived on this couch longer than I’d like to admit.

I remember carrying that couch into the office…it was disgusting then too…

I also lived on this couch for a week when I didn’t have a place to live. And this may actually be a replacement of the couch you’re talking about, Billy. I think this is the one that Brendang and I carried across campus on top of his car with me running alongside, before carrying it into the office. White couch #2.